Bullies and Flying Monkeys

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.” —Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple.

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I have to say, I've been bothered about my last post, "Man Up, Mr Trump". I don't often lose my temper, but I did that day. I do my best to be kind. I prefer to show kindness, every day, to both strangers and my loved ones, even when I don't feel like it.

I’ve been regretting that post for the last ten days.

But, after rereading my post today, I realize I wasn't really unkind. I was, hopefully, being hopeful. But I was mad when I began writing that post. I don’t like being mad or upset, but, like all human beings, I do have the capacity to be mad. I guess that's what being human means; we have great capacity for both love and anger.

And to be clear, I am so tired of hearing all the excuses Donald Trump has when he’s caught in a lie. I’m so tired of his lies. Tired of his hundreds of flying monkeys who spread his lies and think he can do no wrong. (That’s a Wizard of Oz reference. I didn’t make it up.) Tired of his flying monkeys who think they can treat others badly because Donald Trump hates everyone except himself. I only hope his believers eventually realize he is little more than the world’s biggest con man.

I believe Donald is also the world’s biggest cult leader. Thankfully, we have a lot of good people in the Armed Forces who haven’t fallen for his rhetoric; otherwise we’d be living in a country ruled by a newly self-appointed dictator.

In my bedroom, I have a page from an old Readers Digest hanging on the wall. It’s one of their regular features in the magazine: Quotable Quotes. The quote is attributed to Garth Brooks and goes something like this: It takes a lot of effort to be unkind. (I'm currently in a hotel 10 miles from home and can't give you the exact quote right now. My home is currently under construction due to a water heater leak that did a lot of damage. I'll get the quote)

Every time I see that quote by Garth Brooks, I have to agree. It takes a lot of mental and physical energy to be mean. To lie.

But I also know there are of people who simply can't be nice to others, unless they want something from someone.

I thought it was only my family who acted Donald J. Trump (aka DJT). I’ve read that Donald is capable of great kindness, but when he feels disrespected, he turns mean and ugly. He cultivates relationships based on one thing and one thing only: What can this person do for Donald? Then seeks revenge and retribution when that person fails to meet his expectations.

Here’s an example: Look at how many lawyers Trump has hired, fired or they quit representing him. When Trump doesn’t like his lawyers’ advice, he fires them. In my opinion, he does this for three reasons. One, he feels his lawyer doesn’t have enough loyalty for him because the problem hasn’t gone away. Two, he can delay proceedings in whatever legal action he’s in. (He delays until the problem goes away because the other party has run out of money paying their lawyers.) Three, he feels he shouldn’t have to pay a lawyer unless that lawyer gets the results Donald wants.

Perhaps all his lawyers, past and present, should get together a class action suit to recover their money. But they won’t. Most lawyers want the prestige that goes with representing a powerful figure like Donald. Ultimately, his former lawyers are embarrassed that he played them. Played them big-time.

Honestly, it is embarrassing when you are played for a fool. It’s also very frustrating. And this is why narcissists continue to play their games with people. Because narcissists have done it before and gotten away with it. They love to toy with others emotions.

Donald Trump once said that if he killed someone in the middle of New York City, with a hundred witnesses, he would be found innocent in a court of law. He believes he can do whatever he wants with ZERO consequences. He would even manage to blame someone else for the crime.

It’s a formula that works time and time again for Donald. People have been hearing his propaganda for many, many decades. He has programmed people to believe everything he says, despite the actual evidence. But the law eventually catches up. And when the law does catch up, the narcissist claims persecution. The narcissist claims he/she is being unfairly targeted. Claims innocence of all wrong-doing. And his followers believe him despite the evidence to the contrary.

Donald Trump is a dangerous man. And I only have to look at my own family to know just how dangerous he is. I thank my lucky stars that my family is not wealthy and powerful like Donald.

I feel sorry for Donald Trump, his siblings and his children. Being a narcissist is difficult trying to prove to the world that you are better than everyone else. Being around a narcissist is even more difficult.

I believe there will come a day when everyone respects one another. That’s the message all the great spiritual leaders have given to the world. “Love one another.”

It means we should all aspire to treat others with respect, regardless of their status in society. Even if that show of respect is nothing more than a simple, yet genuine, smile.

Love one another…solves a lot of society’s problems.

Man up, Mr. Trump

Mr. Trump,

Donald, I'm talking to you as a former follower of your celebrity.

I always wondered who you were...everyone in the media was talking about you else and your accomplishments in the 80's.
I watched everything I could find, trying to figure out why everyone was so enamored of you.
I never really ever figured it out, but I watched anyway.

But, no more...not since 2016 anyway.

You screwed up. Own up to it. Take ownership of your mistakes.
Honestly, I'm sick of hearing of your lies and indiscretions.
No one wants to hear more lies from you. You can't lie your way out of your mistakes.
Own up to the truth. Be a man. A real man admits his mistakes and learns to be a better person.

But, I realize this will never happen. After a lifetime of making up your own version of the truth, I don't think you truly understand the real truth behind all your lies. (Your parents should have taught you better.)

I'm sorry you had a shitty childhood, even though you grew up wealthy.
I'm sorry you felt you had to become just like your father in order to gain his acceptance of you.
You didn't have much of a chance with parents like yours...but you did have a choice to be a good person.

You had a choice to be a good person who is kind, compassionate and caring.
Instead, you chose to be the man we see today.

A man who thinks a persons worth is only in their skin-deep beauty.
A man who thinks it is his right to have sex with any woman he choses...even if she says no.
A man who thinks it is his right to tell lies when the truth hurts.

A man who thinks he can trash the rights of others who are different from him.
A man who thinks highly only of himself...a man who thinks every person in the world is jealous of your wealth, prestige and position.
A man who resorts to inciting an insurrection using your followers

Except, you don't really believe it yourself.
You have no confidence in yourself; you are always looking for validation from others.

I understand you far better than you understand yourself.
I was raised by a man like yourself. 
You are so much alike in manner, words and deeds, you two could be twins

Except, he didn't have a rich father or rich grandfather.

Like yourself, he gained his wealth by taking money from others, then claiming it was never their money in the first place. He even claimed those others owed him far more than he took.
(For what, I don't know. He doesn't explain anything...just makes baseless claims, like you.)

Like yourself, he demanded loyalty of the people around him, while never giving his loyalty.
Like yourself, he was contemptuous of his followers who gave him loyalty.
Like yourself, he believed he could treat all people badly and they deserved that treatment.

He was wrong. 

So are you.
Man up. It's not too late to man up.

Lose weight with fresh fruits and vegetables...best weight loss plan in the world...

I'm overweight...and for the first time since 1980, I've actually lost 30 lbs.
And kept it off for almost six months, just by adding fresh fruits and vegetables.
(At 5 ft, 1-inch tall, I weighed 255 pounds when I started eating better nutrition in January 2017.) 

Over the years, I've tried so many diets, so many 'proven' programs...I'd lose a few pounds, then put it back on again, doubled. (I'd lose 5 pounds, then gain 10 pounds.)
Year after year, I was in this never-ending spiral of loss and gain.
Spent two years in Weight Watchers losing and gaining the same 5 pounds every month.

I thought I was to blame.
I thought I didn't have the willpower to resist chocolate and sugary snacks.
I thought I was, somehow, inadequate...doomed to be overweight my entire life.
Then I found out I had thyroid disease.
Actually, I knew I had thyroid disease; I was unable to get a doctor to look at my symptoms instead of the results of the blood test (they didn't know then that 'the pill' affected the results).
Taking herbal thyroid helped slow the weight gain, but I still wasn't losing weight.

Finally, in November 2017, I found some books that changed my life.
I changed the way I eat... I've lost 30 pounds and kept it off.

The first book: If you've been trying to lose weight and haven't had any luck keeping it off, a big part of the problem may be the food you are purchasing from the grocery store. Based on the information in this book, the food companies use three key ingredients to keep their costs low, while reaping in huge profits...at the expense of their customers health. (Hmmm...sounds like the same tactics the cigarette companies used for years!)
Seriously...read this book...you can find it at most libraries... 

Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us by Michael Moss

Personal Note: For two years prior to reading this book, my doctor told me my salt levels were too high. He told me to quit eating salt. I had this weird swelling in my feet, ankles and lower legs during the summer and warm weather. My ankles disappeared. My lower legs resembled an elephants...So much swelling that I could barely walk...and it was painful! 

Even after avoiding using salt while cooking and at the table for two years, my next blood tests confirmed the salt levels in my body were still WAY TOO HIGH! 

I only understood why after reading Michael Moss's book. (My husband was buying boxed 'convenience' and processed foods which meant I was getting abnormally high levels of salt from the foods I ate every day! I thought I was eating healthy since I don't eat chips or french fries.) 

Once I learned that the boxed and processed foods my husband had been preparing for our meals was responsible for my lower leg and foot swelling, I was pissed. I still find it difficult to believe that the food companies are actively choosing to poison their customers in the name of profit. Pretty shitty way of doing business, in my opinion.

Once you understand why processed food is so bad for you, it's far easier to make the decision to make better nutrition a way of life. (Thank you Michael Moss!)

In fact, I don't diet anymore.

For me, ' being on a diet' means depriving myself, portion control, eating at set times a day, fighting the cravings... 

Instead, I choose to say I'm eating better nutrition. Better nutrition is a choice to eat healthy foods.

Now, my body doesn't crave sweets and chocolate. (And I can have them if I want...which I do once in a while.)

I have simply changed my approach to nutrition.

The second book: Food Can Fix It: The Superfood Switch to Fight Fat, Defy Aging, and Eat Your Way Healthy by Mehmet Oz

This book not only talks about how to eat better, but includes recipes and the some of the science behind keeping your body properly fueled. Dr. Oz advocates a fresh food, balanced way of eating using lots of fresh veggies and fruits along with lean meats and grains. I love the vegetable broth recipe. I use it as the base for making lentils, rice and other grains. 

The third book: Medical Medium Thyroid Healing by Anthony William

I was astounded by this book. Finally, someone has the answer I have been looking for since 1980 when my thyroid suddenly 'broke'. 

I thought it was something I did, some stress I had been under to trigger the thyroid problem that I assumed was genetic in my fathers family. 

Nope! I'm not to blame...it's caused by a strain of virus, not detectable in tests yet.

This underlying problem, a virus, is one most American's have; a virus that, when fed processed food, multiplies over years, just waiting to destroy our health slowly. And we just think this is what happens when you grow old...you have health problems that slowly worsen over time...

This is just one of a series of books by the author, addressing medical issues that afflict so many, from chronic fatigue, to liver problems to cancer to lupus, and much more! You gotta read it...

If you choose to read only one book
on this list, make it one of the 
Medical Medium books.

I'm only partially following Anthony's nutrition advice and I've lost 30 pounds in 2018.

I feel better, my skin is clearer than ever. 
I have ankles again...the lower leg swelling is mostly gone!

And I'm eating more fruits and vegetables than ever before..Big plates of food every couple of hours. 

And I've discovered lentils are a great protein source. 

(I still eat meat, but limit my intake to a few ounces a week. I've found it surprisingly easy to do.) 

If you're worried about the high cost of eating fresh veggies and fruit, I found my food bill increased by $20 per week in the beginning. 

As I eased off from eating meat, I now find I'm actually saving money on my food bill. 

And, I'm trying all sorts of new vegetables every few months.

I've discovered asparagus, avocado, red and purple potatoes, cilantro...I have more foods to discover, just trying to ease into it. (I'm a very picky eater!)

I actually eat a fresh banana EVERY day.and fresh avocados several times a week..and I'm losing weight! (The fat in these foods is beneficial!)

It's truly amazing...read the books noted above, do your research, find recipes and give it a try...what do you have to lose???

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And if you are wondering...I've never met the authors of the books above and am not getting any compensation for promoting these books. 

It's my hope that you will benefit from the knowledge in these books. 

Discoveries I've made when I was ready to make changes in my life.

I pass this gift of knowledge forward.

It's the right thing to do.

Love one another...It's the right thing to do

I'm not exactly the church type.
Spiritual yes; church no.

That's not to say I have no religious beliefs.
Having attending church services five days a week for four years, I feel very qualified to say,
the lesson Christ tried to teach us when he came to Earth is this:
Love one another.
Yep, that's it...very simple.

Just three little words: Love one another.
It really doesn't matter if a person is gay or not.
It doesn't matter what religion a person is.
It doesn't matter what color a person is or what part of the world they come from.
It doesn't matter what gender a person identifies with...

Love one another...

This world would be a far different place if we just talked to one another.
Just a few rules: Ask intelligent questions and really listen to the answers.
Try to understand that each culture has its own 'unspoken' rules.
If something doesn't make sense, be honest and say you don't understand.

 Be sure your only agenda is to learn.
Only then will you have a chance to really get to know how someone else views the world.
And perhaps, make a new friend.
It may not solve all the worlds problems, but it could be helpful.

When was the last time you talked to someone from another culture?
Have you ever been to worship services of a faith different than your own?
I have. Many in fact. 

I've asked a Muslim woman why she wears a burka even though she was born and and has lived her entire life in the United States.
I didn't like the answers she gave, but I liked her.
She gave me a glimpse of her life as a Muslim woman, but mostly I realized she, an American woman, has the same hopes and dreams for her children as all other parents do.
And I now understand why she wears a burka and headscarf in the office with no air conditioning on a incredibly hot day even when no men are present.

I understand the tiniest bit of the religious tradition that is her life.
And now when I see a woman in grocery store wearing head scarf, I see the woman, not a foreigner.
And the scarfs are quite pretty.

How about talking to a gay woman to see how she views the attitudes of non-gays?
What challenges does a man face in living a life as a gay person in our society?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to face the prejudices towards transgender persons?
Which bathroom do you choose? And how much unhappiness has that person experienced before embracing the person they are deep inside?

Are you willing to take a step outside of your current reality to learn how others live and think without judging their beliefs? And do it in a respectful way?

Are you willing to consider Christ's words?
Love one another...

It means thinking about what love really is.
It means listening with heart.

But be careful. Be aware.
You may have to rethink a long-held belief that you currently hold dear to your heart. Are you ready consider that maybe everything in the religious book you read may not be 100% accurate for this date in time?
You may come to understand God a little bit better than you do now.

Maybe, you'll come to understand that others, including gays, blacks, Latinos, Democrats and Republicans are human beings just like you.
Just like you, they have hopes and dreams of finding someone to love and marry.
Just like you, they are human beings who want to be accepted as they are.
Just like you, they want to work and be contributing members of society.
Just like you, they want to be loved.

For they may be our mothers and fathers, our brothers and sisters, our sons and daughters, and our grandchildren.

Love one another...It's the right thing to do.

Killing others make no sense to me...heal the wounds

On Saturday June 11,  2016 a man went into a nightclub in Orlando, Florida.
Using a firearm he'd recently purchased, he began firing into a crowd of over 300 people.
Forty-nine people died. And another fifty-three were injured.

The nightclub was filled with people...many gay people.
Whether the people were gay or not shouldn't matter; but being gay is still unacceptable in many peoples minds.
Apparently the shooter has a prejudice against gay people which explains one reason the nightclub was targeted.

I find this event sad, yet understandable.The world has been changing. Fast.
People and cultures as a whole tend to resist change.
We humans prefer things to stay the same as long as it doesn't interfere with our personal agenda.

People in the world are beginning to wake up to the fact that being gay or transgender isn't a choice...it is simply who they are...Gays are simply the way God made them.
Everyone who was injured or died was somebody's child...a son...a daughter...a brother or a sister...perhaps even a mother or father.

I don't know how to end this posting in a way that makes sense of the carnage.
It doesn't make sense to me.
I don't know if it ever will make sense.

But please remember to pray for the families of the wounded.
Celebrate the lives of those whose lives were too short.

And...please be kind...patient...avoid despair and anger.
Be especially kind to the gunman's family who have been left behind to deal with his incredibly horrific deeds.
His children, wife and parents need our prayers to get through this ordeal too.
Your help is needed to heal the wounds created that day.
Be kind. Have courage. Love one another.

Long Life

Yesterday, I was reading a popular magazine that just arrived in the day's mail. The article was about a Marine chaplain who basically said (I’m paraphrasing here), you have a beginning date and an end date on your gravestone. Between those two dates is a dash. That dash is your life.

My first thought was “I want an em-dash life.”

For those of you not familiar with an ‘em dash’, it is a typesetting term. It is a very long dash. You’ve probably seen it in older books and magazines which were typeset by people who cared about such things.

I want a long life one with plenty of time to live, love and learn. A fulfilling life…a full-spectrum life of highs and lows; of happiness and grief; of light and shadows. Excitement loses it’s allure if not offset by calmness.

Without all of the above, the painting of my life would lack balance.

Isn’t that what we’re here for…to create balance in the mural of life!

I wish you all an em-dash life!